Throwback to 1909 in Arkansas. Sonora Smart Dodd was sat in her church listening to a sermon on Mother's Day when she got the idea that fathers too should be honoured with a day of their own. Sonora was only 16 when her mother passed away during childbirth. From then on, her father raised Sonora and her younger brothers on his own.
It was this background that built Sonora's great respect and appreciation for her father and other fathers, inspiring the first Father's Day celebration on June 19th, 1910 in Spokane, Washington. The annual observance spread to the rest of the country and on 1972, President Nixon officially declared the 3rd Sunday of June as Father's Day.
It might have been strange for you to find out that Father's Day was founded by a woman. It was for me. The more common image of fathers and their children in the media, at least in my opinion, seemed to be mainly of father and son. The father being the role model in everything from sports to being the handy man of the house and the son following in his footsteps. It is easy to assume that fathers are more important for the upbringing of sons than of daughters.
Something exciting is coming up! We will be having our very first Inspiring Orchid Bootcamp this Sunday!
We're really looking forward to seeing you there (or at one of the boot camps we'll be organising in the future) but if you're not able to make it, don't worry as I'll be sharing some of the tips that will be taught in the boot camp
Briefly, this one-day boot camp aims to empower our participants to speak out and solve issues which concern them and the society at large. Sounds too ambitious for a day's worth of workshops? Not really, once you consider how certain tools and skills can really make a change.
Divided into three workshops, the first focuses on sharpening the skill of asking questions. When dealing with a contentious issue or fronted with the opportunity to speak to an iconic figure, how do we ask the questions which hits the nail right on the head, eliciting exactly what we want from those we speak to?
Let's take it step-by-step:
Before asking your question:
So that's a gist of the first workshop. The second workshop focuses on our public speaking skills. In honing our ability to express ourselves before an audience, we must be aware of the do's and don'ts of public speaking.
Do's & Don'ts
The last workshop of the boot camp is a social innovation hackathon where our participants get the opportunity to engage in challenges faced by actual non-profit organisations and in a team, pitch their solutions to these challenges. As you can imagine, a huge chunk of the learning from this particular workshop comes from actually participating in it which is why we'd love for you to join us at the boot camp! However, some tips we can give, which would be applicable to any other similar hackathon would be:
If you've read to the end of this post, congratulations! You've had a taster of our boot camp and hopefully picked up some tips which would be useful for you. We still hope to see you at our boot camps so do sign up here if you can make it.
In the meantime, leave us a comment of what you think of the boot camp or even suggestions of what you'd like to see from us in the future.
In “Penalties for Success: Reactions to Women Who Succeed at Male Gender-Typed Tasks”[i],
Dr. Madeline E. Heilman found that “successful women were characterized as more selfish, manipulative and untrustworthy--your typical constellation of 'bitchy' characteristic”.
Adding salt to the wound, our evolutionary history does suggest that women may indeed be more manipulative. Professor Menelaus Apostolou at the University of Nicosia argued that with generations of male domination over female, “men’s greater physical strength and control of resources exert an evolutionary pressure on women to become more manipulative in order to counterbalance these male advantages and promote their own interests”[ii].
Is it possible that women are indeed more manipulative than men? Is it possible that the lower likeability faced by successful women is not a gender stereotype but instead, is well-founded because women’s stronger manipulation skills brought them success?
Both questions above are empirical questions in which I have no answer for. And I doubt that any social scientist can ever find answers to them. However, what this piece seeks to answer is – are women more manipulative or are women better in managing their circle of influence?
In Stephen Covey’s “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, he argued that effective people are proactive people who strive to widen their circle of influence (things that they can do something about) and shrink their circle of concern (things that they have little or no control). Following this line of thought, I argue that women who are successful in their jobs are not manipulative, but are effective people who have a large circle of influence.
Professor Apostolou listed the manipulative tactics to be threats, charm, monetary rewards, reason, the silent treatment, social comparison, shame, promises of future benefit, rewards, cajolery, and appeals to loyalty. While the above tactics may be true in family setting (which Prof. Apostolou’s paper focuses on), not all of the above tactics apply in a work setting. Needless to say, giving a silent treatment to your co-worker gets you nowhere. Conversely, giving a silent treatment to your children gets you quite a lot, most of the time.
Analysing the dynamics in a workplace, what gets you far is getting others to help you succeed in your goals. You and your colleagues will have different goals. But by aligning their goals with your goals, you are borrowing their strength to assist you in achieving your goals. Such tactics to promote success in workplace may at times be mistaken as being manipulative. Indeed, there is a fine line between manipulation and other positive attributes such as aligning goals, persuasion, leading from behind.
Take for example that you, as a manager, are in a need of few personnels from another team. By openly asking or worse, demanding, for resources for your own benefit, you are likely to be viewed negatively. However, if you couch this request in a more positive note by highlighting the learning opportunities that these personnels will receive and that they will return to their original teams better than before, your request will be viewed in a much more positive light.
Was the above manipulative? I would argue that no, the above was not manipulative. The facts remained the same and no deception was involved. It is clear that we can't control whether we will receive extra resources but we can definitely influence the perception of our request. While a male manager may use his authority and the importance of his project to ask for extra resources, a female manager could conceivably use the method that I suggested above.
The use of physical strength and threat of authority has never been the forte of women and it might never be. Our evolutionary history may dictate the use other methods and I argue that women promote their own interest by extending their circle of influence, not by manipulative tactics.
[i] Madeline E. Heilman et al., “Penalties for Success: Reactions to Women Who Succeed at Male Gender-Typed Tasks,” Journal of Applied Psychology 89, no. 3 (2004): 416–27
[ii] Menelaos Apostolou, “Parental Mate Choice Manipulation Tactics: Exploring Prevalence, Sex and Personality Effects”, Evolutionary Psychology Journal 12, no. 3 (2014): 588-620
by Seraphine Shereen
It's my lucky day when I get to spend a night at The St.Regis KL courtesy of INSPIRING ORCHID .
The St. Regis Kuala Lumpur is located in KL Sentral, the city's main transportation hub. Its classic contemporary interiors combines modern day glamour with old-word elegance, encompassing thoughtful design elements for convenience, privacy and security as well Infused with luxurious design details such as breathtaking Austrian crystals, stunning chandeliers and hand-made Italian gold tiles. It fits for those looking for a relaxing luxury getaway.
KL Sentral is just 0.3km away where you can request for shuttle to drop-off and pick-up. There's couple of major shopping malls located around such as Nu Sentral which is 0.3km away or MidValley Megamall which is 3.5km away.
St. Regis KL has 3 types of rooms; DELUXE ROOM, GRAND DELUXE ROOM,ASTOR ROOM and 5 types of suites; ST. REGIS SUITE, CAROLINE ASTOR SUITE, JOHN JACOB ASTOR SUITE, PRESIDENTIAL SUITE and ROYAL SUITE. For today , I will be sharing about ST.REGIS SUITE.
Alleyway to our suite
Our suite at Level 13A
Fresh orchids in every corner
The St. Regis Suite is the ultimate choice for leisure and business guests alike. The living room, furnished with a study desk, plush and rich sofas, a dining table, and the well-stocked signature St. Regis Mini Bar Trunk, is perfect for entertaining. The spacious walk-in wardrobe is fitted with a spacious luggage rack and a well-lit vanity table. With its en-suite Massage Room,with a touch of a button, guest can enjoy the ultimate in-room spa experience. The St. Regis Suite can be expanded into two-bedroom units with a connecting Deluxe Room.
Welcome to our suite
First thing when you entered the room
The Living Area
Closer look of living area
The control panel
Glimpse of dining area
Tons of choices from mini bar
Stationary in suitcase
Early birthday for me
The little boss
Selfie is a must when there's huge mirror
View from room
Spot the pool from my suite
A little treat from the team
The pattern one
Starring at nowhere
There are 6 dining experience available at The St. Regis Kuala Lumpur.
1. The Drawing Room is a choice venue for a relaxing afternoon tea or a gathering with friends for an elegant celebration.
2. The Brasserie for Unparalleled Fine Dining.
3. Astor Bar for a sip of champagne, spirits and fine vintage wines.
4. The Crystal , the rooftop bar.
5. Taka by Sushi Saito, three-Michelin-starred restaurant Sushi Saito,Malaysia's first restaurant opened by a three-Michelin starred chef, featuring the best and freshest sushi in Kuala Lumpur.
6. Ginza Tenkuni, unique dining experience featuring traditional Japanese cuisine
From front office to butler service, it's more than amazing. When it's time to check out, none of us is willing to leave. We wish to be here longer but since we have to work next day, so we go back with sweet memories.
*For those who drive, self-parking is available for the property’s guests at no extra charge. I wish to stay there longer and spend more quality time with my family.
Check out my suite tour at my Youtube channel :
THE ST. REGIS SUITE
Check out more details about St. Regis KL:
Website: THE ST. REGIS KL
Facebook: The St. Regis Kuala Lumpur
When Sheryl Sandberg called on women to "make their partner a real partner" (a partner that shares 50% of household chores), many of us might ask "How do I find a real partner"?
If I were to list 3 criteria of what a real partner should be, here's my 2 cents on what it should be and how you can find a real partner... on a LRT ride.
1. A partner who respects me as an equal human being
Ever got your queue cut when lining up for the train on the crowded platform? Ever had someone roughly shove you aside to get into the train first?
Some say it is impatience but I say it's the lack of respect. If you respect me as an equal other and if you don't think of yourself as being more important than I am, you would not disrespect me in such manner. It is the case that when someone thinks they are better than others, they are empowered by this selfishness to act in ways to demean or hurt others.
But what if you are in a rush or unwell? If I was sick and would like to enter the train first to sit, I will ask. In this case, you are being respectful and you are not thinking of yourself being more important. So, make sure your partner stays behind the queue, not just behind you but all of those who came before him/her.
2. A partner who is willing to make small sacrifices for others
If you are asked the following question, what would you answer?
Your mother and your partner fell into the sea and they both don't know how to swim. Who would you save first?
Some of us might expect our partner to prioritise us. But really, do we need our partner to make an unthinkable sacrifice like that? Instead, the small sacrifices we need our partner to make is being willing to get the kids from school when we work overtime in the office, to get up once in a while in the middle of the night to feed the baby, to sacrifice time out with their friends to spend a weekend with their children and the list goes on.
If your desired partner is willing to give up their seat on the train or squeeze in a bit more so that others can get into the train, I think that's the real partner you are looking for.
3. A partner who apologises for unintended mistakes
It's nothing new for me to get stepped on/elbowed when an extremely packed train makes a turn.
I know it's inevitable. But at the least, I appreciate a simple word of... sorry.
We often find ourselves in impossible situations where we inevitably fail to deliver and eventually, disappoint those around us. A last minute call from your boss can make you miss a parent-teacher meeting or even fatigue can make you unable to spend time with your children on Sunday. We are humans and we are bound make mistakes in these difficult situations. Though our intention might not be to hurt, the harsh reality is that we do.
Apologising is not necessarily admitting that you are wrong. Instead, you are acknowledging your limitations and that these limitations unavoidably caused hurt. I am not advocating for you to apologise blindly but, to admit that we are all only human and we all have limitations.
In a nutshell, taking a LRT ride with someone during peak hours can tell you a lot about him/her and most importantly, if he/she can be a real partner. Many would argue that the 3 criteria above is wholly insufficient to judge whether someone can be a real partner. Yes, I agree that what I wrote cannot be all you need to find in a partner. But I think it is a good starting point for us to start looking. Good luck!
Women, can we have it all?
Our minds are constantly drilled by the media and society on how women should look and
behave in a certain way.
No matter how conflicting some of those societal opinions may be, humanity never seems to be
ever satisfied with women; how we dress and conduct ourselves throughout the rungs of society.
Sport a bikini, we’re attention-seeking and asking for it. Choose to cover up, we’re oppressed
and probably a prude.
Too dressed up, we’re shallow and vain. Not well dressed enough, we’re old-fashioned and
Choose to marry young, we have no ambitions in life. Not marrying at the ‘right’ age, we must
be hard to get along with.
Choose to climb the career ladder, we’re selfish and uncaring mothers. Choose to raise and
nurture kids ourselves, we’re uneducated and unambitious housewives.
Take charge and stand up for ourselves, we’re bitchy and pushy. Take the sidelines and not voice
out, we’re weak and never ready for leadership roles.
Ironically, sometimes, we’re accused of being all these at the same time, by both men and
Women are constantly scrutinizing each other and also making things hard for ourselves.
Let’s face it; every day when we look into the mirror, there must be something that isn’t ‘right’;
untoned arms, frizzy hair, or even that huge pimple on the forehead. Beauty is a sacred
‘achievement’ many women hold dear to. Every screen that we stare at seem to advocate for a
slimmer, sexier and fairer self before we could finally feel happier about ourselves and validated
in life. There is positively nothing wrong in dressing up and taking care of one’s body to feel
confident and in charge of life.
What’s also questionable here is when a woman quickly passes her judgement of another for the
latter’s choices of clothes and life. “Feminism is being free to decide”. It is about what you and
other women aspire to be and to do. This, is what I truly believe to be one of the basic
foundations of female empowerment.
For some, getting married at an early age is a choice and decision made out of love. Others may
find that the right person has not appeared in their lives yet. But it is prudent to bear in mind that
what makes any of the above life choices oppressive is someone compelling another to do it. On
a similar note, it is just as oppressive to force someone to not pursue what they really want in
It may sound easy for me to tell other women to stop passing judgements so simply. I know it is
Like most of my peers, I have been searching for a life changer; that key that would magically
transform me into a successful 21st century working woman. But it was never enough. And I was
constantly trying to find ever greener career pastures that would better ‘fit’ and ‘reward’ me in
life. I was always so busy comparing myself with the rest of the world when it occurred to me
that there is really nothing to be gained from making comparisons and passing judgments on
From all of this, I now realise that real change is only possible when women stop making
judgements of other women, the rest of the world and most importantly, themselves. Real change
starts when women realize that the world would never change for them; that they would have to
bring the change to the world; that they can achieve any goals, have a right to and a say in the
way they dress, their life paths and more!
This definitely takes a conscious effort on all fronts but it is definitely a great first step for us all
towards female empowerment.
So, can women have it all? Well, perhaps, but rest assured, the world will not change for us. We
must bring the change we want to see, and as with all changes, the fail proof model is from
inside-out. Change starts from within.
K.L.Na is a researcher in the field of business and data analytics. She would like to implore her
fellow women to see themselves as outstanding individuals, unique in their own ways.
Inspiring Orchid website have been updated with images gallery of the event! Check it out and have fun browsing to reminiscence the memories and flashback!